Plotless Violence

Actor Portraits

When I wanted to learn how to do faces, I started drawing portraits of actors to figure a few things out. I'd e-mail them to my friends and see if they could guess who I had drawn. Now you can play! Just highlight the invisible text above each image.

Jon Stewart of The Daily Show, Death to Smoochy, Half Baked....

Steven Colbert of The Daily Show, as drawn by a blind man with a headache.

Rob Cordry of The Daily Show, if his face was mashed up by a fistfight or something

Sarah Carter of Black Sash, after an extremely unsympathetic nose job

Terry O'Quinn of Alias and Lost, an early attempt of mine to learn shadowing. Heh..."Locke-pic"

Jason Bateman of Arrested Development although it turned out terribly. Everyone thought this was Matt Damon.

Summer Glau of Firefly and Serenity. I tried to capture that look at the beginning of the movie where they're doing that robbery and she points at guy about to pull a gun, and Zoe gives her the "Him?" look and she gives him the "Yeah-uh!" look...but I failed.

Softcore porn star Shannon Elizabeth. Yeah, it looks nothing like her, but I wanted to do this to figure out how the shape of the rear eye worked on a turned face, and I discovered that it was a very subtle effect of the brow overlapping onto the eye. And she's naked.

Kate Beckinsale from the Underworld: Evolution posters that were plastered everywhere all over the city when I visited the P's. Big P believes she has no distinguishing features, while I've noticed that she looks like a different person from each angle.

(04/24/06) Danielle Panabaker of Sky High. I doubt you guessed right, since she's unknown and the image below looks nothing like her besides, but I just wanted to work on making softer, feminine faces. The eyes are factor-2 times bigger than they should be and the forehead is overexaggerated, making her look seriously underager than she already I a pedophile or just an incompetent drawererer? Because I'm definitely too lazy to fix it.

(05/01/06) Nudity enthusiast Jolene Blalock, the, uh, "actress" from Star Trek: Enterprise, which despite being a gojirillion times worse than Firefly, still got 4 full seasons no one watched. It's my fault the thing looks nothing like her, but it's her plastic surgeon's that the breasts in my picture defy gravity. Hey, sillycon is totally real, and natural because it's found in nature. Ha, defamation!

Kim Smith (head's too small, [don't] sue me), the model in that classic every-male-on-the-planet's-wallpaper of her trying to...let's see what it says here, uh..."sell a bikini!?!" Who cares about the bikini? The clothing is obviously the least desirable part of that picture.

Josie Maran, another model. G-d Does some great work, He just doesn't share.

(05/20/06) I can't even tell you who this is because the drawering is so so bad it looks nothing like the guy, even though I like the actor.

(11/13/06) Tamara Feldman, who's been in...apparently nothing I would admit to watching, but I'd like to stick it in her for kicks.

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