Plotless Violence



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Me: you ever play a racing game, and blow up your car so many times that you swear off driving in real life?
Copperhead: after blowing up several cars in real life, I decided to stop playing racing games
Me: in GTA, when I get in the Ambulance and try and rescue people, even when I win, I always run over 3 times as many healthy people as sick people I save
Copperhead: what a beautiful game
Me: circle of life, man
Me: JSM is the only former roommate from our apartment who doesn't have a website or webcomic or blog
JSM: i am not crying out for attention on the internet like some people who devote hours of everyday to a webcomic that has not even accumulated over 10,000 hits even though it has been around for over a year
Me: it's healthier than sitting on the toilet, holding a loaded gun in your mouth, sobbing because you don't have the guts to go through with it
Me: you know, if the South had won, we'd still have a 10th Ammendment
JSM: republicans never have second thoughts because they dont think to begin with
JSM: i got that one from a discarded joke in a Jay Leno monolouge
Me: and if Leno discarded it....
Me: maybe we can compromise, and kill the terrorists' fetuses?
Copperhead: I don't really value human life as much as everybody else, I guess
Me: which state do I need to stay out of, again?
Copperhead: the reason that bombing a large building filled with people is wrong is because those people have lives, memories, and others who depend upon them countless/priceless things have been invested in their existances
Me: so in your world, doctors go up to indigent patients and go, "sorry, Sir, it turns out you don't got no insurance. GIT OUT!"
Copperhead: explain
Me: you're judging human life purely as a sequence of financial transactions, the person being an investment, not an individual
Me: and besides, I'm anti-abortion so I can get some practice telling women how to use their bodies
Copperhead: fetuses aren't individuals yet
Me: so Zeus descended in a golden shower (heh) and imparted to you the divine knowledge of what constitutes life?
Copperhead: that's like saying "this chicken hasn't done anything wrong. why kill it?"
Copperhead: the answer is that it feeds people, and is therefore good for society
Me: would you eat a human embryo omlet?
Copperhead: I wonder how much protein would be in that
Me: your vision of the future sounds like a Michael Bay distopia
Me: and I HATE Michael Bay!

In a world where cars crash....
one man with no training and no experience.....
will in the space of 5 seconds become.....
a superpowerful fighter/spy/technician/commando
in....
PLOTHOLES!
directed by Michael Bay

Me: my friends all assume that since I'm iming a girl, I must be trying to get into her pants
Me: (although I'll settle for a mouth, ba-dum, pshhh!)
Me: which makes sense enough, except that by the same logic, looking at the other conversations with them, we're all raging homosexuals.
Me: RAGING
Copperhead: if you get lucky, maybe we can have cyber sex
Me: my computer fucks me over all the time, and I don't find those pleasant experiences
Copperhead: somebody's getting naughty narrated IM's toNIGHT!
Me: Dear Wired: I never thought this could happen to me....
Me: JSM is of course, long gone during the interesting part of this roundtable discussion on fetal ethics and yo mama
Me: he's almost never on AIM, NEVER responds to e-mail, which he believes the government uses to identify all the child porn he's been downloading
Me: actually, he's not my friend at all, just a guy who occasionally responds to IMs from me so that I won't start stalking him in real life
Me: you two have a lot in common
Copperhead: well, I have friends with terrible taste
Me: bet you feel stupid for becoming a cannibal, huh?
Me: get it?
Me: friends with no taste?
Me: canibals eat the flesh of the living?
Me: totally dragging out a joke like Letterman on Vicodin?
Me:....
Me: Hello?
Me: ....

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Plotless Violence is hosted on Keenspace, not Comicgenesis.